Recently Read: Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou

Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In a nutshell, this autobiography, raw with emotion, reads more like a memoir than an autobiography.

My introduction to Maya Angelou, like many others, was being assigned I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings in high school. I remember finding it incredibly moving, especially since it read like a novel. It was also my introduction to the novelized autobiography, a rare but beautifully effective genre. I probably don’t have to point out that high school was quite a while ago for me. I haven’t reread Caged Bird, though I feel like I should. My memory of the book is sketchy at best. Till now, it was the only one of Angelou’s autobiographies that I have read, although I have read much of her poetry. Having now read Mom & Me & Mom, I think I should remedy that. I have now read her first and last autobiographies. I plan to read the ones in the middle after I reread the first.

What has always struck me about Angelou, particularly in her poetry, was her strength and confidence. It seems odd that I connected with her poetry, particularly when I was a shy, quiet, reserved, white teenage girl growing up in a somewhat sheltered upbringing in the suburbs of Los Angeles. My life experience has been radically different from Angelou’s. There is very little I have in common with a woman who seemed so regal to me, having achieved such wondrous greatness, rising from disastrous tragedy and pain. I couldn’t relate to her struggles. I couldn’t possibly understand why she had to fight her whole life for things I took for granted. Yet, there I was, sitting in my college dorm room soaking up her inspiring poetry, applying her wise words to my life, my situations. Angelou has been called “America’s Poet,” and rightly so. There is universality to her words, themes and messages. Her eyes have seen more, she has lived through and survived much more than most of us will ever experience. Yet, she had a knack for expressing thoughts that we have all felt, speaking to each of us and all of us in terms we could relate to. Her poetry was about the human condition, and that is the one thing we all have in common. We are human, first and foremost.

I’m not sure what I expected when I started reading Mom & Me & Mom, but I certainly did not expect the level of insight this autobiography contains. It begins with Angelou’s birth and ends with her mom’s passing, but the events in between are not consistently written chronologically. Not even remotely resembling a novel, it reads more like a memoir than an autobiography in that it seems Angelou told stories as they occurred to her. The order was chosen for how it illustrated the point she was making at the time. As the title suggests, the primary focus is Angelou’s relationship with her mother, although she also touches on her relationships with both her brother and her son. Angelou does not hold much back. She speaks frankly about the circumstances of the episodes she chose to include. She describes situations and characteristics of people as if they were normal and average. Many events described would have made excellent plot ideas for “The Sopranos.” She included actions she wasn’t particularly proud of, and many things her mother shouldn’t have been proud of. Still, you get the impression that they were mostly actions that made her proud of her mother, and actions her mother would never feel the need to apologize for.

The overall, lasting impression this autobiography left me with was the important role that Angelou’s mother played in her becoming the strong, confident woman she was known to be. Before, I felt that such qualities must have been bestowed by her grandmother who raised her till she was thirteen, who wasn’t physically affectionate, but would proudly boast of Angelou’s attributes. In this autobiography, it is clear that her mother, Vivian Baxter, was the one who showed her, taught her, the strength necessary to succeed as a black, single mother at a time when society in general was against all those things. When she lacked the confidence to try, Angelou was supported by the faith her mother held in her. When she wasn’t sure she could do what she set out to do, her mother believed in her and propped her up till she gained the confidence to keep going on her own. Her mother made mistakes. No one is perfect. Their relationship had its troubled times. Angelou saw the flaws, but they were overshadowed by their love and appreciation for each other. The role of a mother, or at least part of it – the part Vivian Baxter did best – is to instill in your child such strength and confidence. They should grow up knowing their worth and taught to fight for themselves. They should know, as teenagers and adults, that the key to happiness is to like yourself, be proud of yourself, know your faults, your limitations, and accept help when necessary. Go out into the world, do what is necessary to get what you want, and know that you are capable. Be the person that you can proud of. Give to others with an air of gratitude for the way in which they enrich your life, and don’t give anyone the power to hurt you. Angelou’s mother taught her these lessons in a harsh way, but she wouldn’t have been the person she was, the legend we now mourn, if it wasn’t for Vivian Baxter.


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